This baby glistened at me from across the store. It slithered like a raccoon, it shimmied like a snake. It called “cheeeeeeck meee oooouutttt.” I thought it was just a puke/rust-colored subtly patterned crushed velour oversize tshirt with shockingly poor construction. But when I pulled it off the rack I realized that no! It was a puke/rust-colored subtly patterned crushed velour oversize tshirt with shockingly poor construction and a matching skirt. It was only fitting that when I tried it on the shade of the fuzzy fabric perfectly matched my ginger locks, leaving me looking like I had skinned some of my own clan and swathed myself in their pelts. Fabulous.