You may think this picture is out of focus because it was shot in low light, with an iphone camera, on the fly without time to focus, rushing through the process because there was a long line of people waiting for the dressing room, a line which included a woman who had already graciously offered Alexis and I the opportunity to share her dressing room because she “wasn’t afraid of showing us her naked fat.” But you would be wrong. This picture is out of focus intentionally because both psychologists and ophthalmologists recommend not viewing it in clear light and crisp focus. It is written in various medical journals, textbooks and WebMD.com that direct exposure to this frenzied mish-mash of textured acetate mixed with rainbow tie-dye polyester chiffon, melded together with merrow seams and handkerchief hem detail in a cacophony of bad taste fit only for a twisted Stevie Nicks voodoo doll might cause a combination of ruptured retinal veins and immediate psychological trauma. It’s possible that with several years of PTSD therapy one can recover from the mental strain well enough to be declared legally self-functioning, but unfortunately there’s not much that can be done about the bloody eyeballs.