There was this time just after the 80’s when the we felt a rustling of change in the stratosphere. When Pearl Jam and Nirvana were starting to steal the airwaves from Debbie Gibson and New Kids on the Block. The Berlin wall had just come down, the technological revolution was starting, and “independent” became the new buzzword. For some inexplicable reason, this was also the time when drapey, baggy shorts crafted from shiny polyester became acceptable as businesswear. Suits with matching jackets and shorts were seen on everyone from Julia Roberts in her Pretty Woman hotel exit scene, to the girl next door to, I’ll admit it, me. Somewhere during this time a designer dreamed up this outfit. Not content to simply slap the face of fine fashion with the shorts and jacket combo, this designer decided to cut the short-sleeved jacket from an aztec-inspired monstrosity of printed poly rayon and add a mock blouse to the mix. There are not many things I like less on garments than faux/mock bits of ridiculousness. As far as I’m concerned, if it’s going to look like a pocket, it better fucking well be a pocket. Why this “blouse” which is really just a triangle of fabric tacked to the interior of the jacket opening needs to have functional buttons is beyond me. All I know is I want to grab it by the scruff of the seams and scream, “What are you!” “Why are you here!” “Tell me the truth goddammit stop lying for once in your life and own up to it. You are not a blouse. I know it. They know it. The whole world can see it. Just. Be. Honest!”
Or maybe I’m just pissed off because I look so stupid in this picture. What’s with the double-chin? Yuck.